The Moving Box

I have been married almost 12 years and in that time we have moved 10 times. Prior to 'settling down' I moved in and out of college dorms, apartments, and rental houses for six years through college and part of graduate school (I’m thinking 6+ moves). You would think I would be an expert mover after nearly 20 moves in my lifetime. Ask those who have helped us move. Ask my husband. I am not.

I make a mean to do list and have utopic visions of the best possible moving day scenario dancing in my head. Unfortunately, somewhere between the arrival of the packing boxes and the day of the move it slowly falls apart and we are dashing about cramming, dumping, and jamming. The dream of a uniform tower of color coded boxes stacked neatly in the hall just waiting for the kindly moving men to come fetch them turns into the reality of chaos. Next time, I say, next time I will get this right.

You see in my life there will probably be a next time. As a spouse of a United Methodist minister we are a part of the itinerant appointment system. We go when and where we are told to go. So I expect there will be more moves in my future somewhere down the line.

In the beginning it was just Kevin and I moving and it was kind of exhilarating to me. In a weird way it satisfied my travel itch, because if you think about it moving every year it is like going on a long trip. The suitcases are just bigger. I felt adventurous and courageous to be living life our own way.

Yet, slowly grown-up life has seeped in with the birth of our daughters. Now these moves have implications far beyond my personal preferences. So I got my special box.

This special box can hold anything up to about 20lbs. If I start to worry about our girls liking a new room, home, school, church I just stuff it in my box. If I get sad thinking about people I will miss I just stuff it in my box. If I get worried about finances and changing employment for myself I just cram it in the box. If I get nervous about the church Kevin will be serving I just dump it in the box. If I worry about making friends or if people will like me it just goes in the box. Sometimes it gets really full, even to the point of bulging, but I keep stuffing it in.

However, when we get to our new house and the unpacking begins my special box stays firmly attached to me. As I unpack other boxes and take on the task of setting up a home I sometimes find new things to jam in my special box. Eventually all those things cling to me, become a part of me. You see for the last seven years with each move I gain about 20lbs.

That special box is really my mouth as I attempt to abate my fears, stresses, and those feelings of being completely overwhelmed by eating. I have battled my weight most of my life and after giving birth to two large, beautiful babies it has been especially hard. I gained enough weight with each pregnancy to give birth to a 12 year old instead I birthed two adorable 9-ish pound infants. The math was not in my favor.

Slowly as I get comfortable and gain my footing after a move I start to unpack my special box. It is never an easy process. I am pretty sure the glaciers are melting faster than I can lose weight but it does slowly happen. It seems as I get ‘near’ my goal weight again a move looms on the horizon. And so, my freak out begins and I find my special box once more. I guess I am lucky I am not 200lbs overweight with all our moves, the 40lbs I currently have to lose are a gracious plenty.

So here our little family is coming up on our eight month in our new ministry setting. We really love it here and our girls are thriving. Our new church family is wonderful and Kevin’s ministry is engaging. I am getting comfortable and gaining my footing. I am starting to unpack my box. Hopefully, this time for good.

The $6,000 Razor

I hate using a dull razor. Under the best conditions I hack myself to pieces so you can image the carnage of a dull razor. Yet for years I never had a new, sharp glistening blade of steel in the house. I am not a masochist. I was just economizing.

My path to the razor that have saved my family $6,000 and counting is both convoluted and direct. Basically my husband changed careers and answered his call into ministry. This change began a seven year journey of degrees, part-time jobs, and re-locations each of which left us less financially stable than the previous. So in year six, living in family housing in Wilmore, Ky, making less than a 1/3 of our previous income, and trying to stretch every dollar to feed our now family of three I first heard of Southern Savers and couponing. The very idea of using coupons brought up childhood memories of standing in the line humiliated as my mom would pull out coupons from her purse and 'hold things up' at the checkout.

I would go to the store and try to make our budgeted grocery money (thanks Dave Ramsey) go as far as possible. I would stand in the razor aisle staring wistfully but walk away from the $10-$15 price tags empty handed and go buy diapers or some other pressing need instead. Finally, my tortured legs helped me put my pride aside and I decided to give this coupon thing a go.

I didn't jump in right away. First I read a lot of blogs from people who give tips and advice as well as shopping lists. I found that Southern Savers was the best fit for me. Finally, in January 2010, inspired by the birth of another mouth to feed I took the plunge. Guess what my first big deal was? Why razors of course!

I have two years of full fledged couponing under my belt. I don't dive in dumpsters and I don't have a vast stock pile but I do have a closet that probably has 15 packs of new, sharp glistening razors and a stocked pantry. I do feed a family of four mainly organic healthy food, buy diapers and baby needs, and get household supplies for about $80 a week. I am able to give to our food bank toiletries and items I could have never donated before. I could save more but I choose to buy organic, green, and fresh products and produce when ever possible.

What could you do with captured income of $6,000? Make ends meet? Help get out of dept? Go on vacation? Home improvements? Give extravagantly?

25 Random Things

1. I don't like catchup so much so that I usually forget that other people do like it.

2. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day but unfortunately I don't usually wake up early enough to eat breakfast. So I love to make breakfast foods for dinner.

3. Kevin and I have been married for 8.5 years and we have moved 7 times (8 is just around the corner).

4. I am really bad at packing both for moves and trips. Luckily it doesn't bother me not be perfectly packed.

5. I am not afraid of bugs, spiders, snakes or other creepy crawling things. However, I can't stand to catch a glimpse of something in my peripheral vision. I freak out.

6. Maybe it is a throw back to my coaching days but I really like clipboards. I think life can be managed better with a good clipboard and a list.

7. Cavender, our four year old, cracks me up daily. She is very funny. I don't think she always means to be so this could be an interesting learning curve in the coming years.

8. I love to add potato chips to any sandwich. Six inch turkey sub with baked BBQ lays is my favorite combination.

9. When I tell people I lived in Amsterdam for a semester in college I love to look at their face as they decide if I was a druggie or a prostitute. Both options make me laugh and I don't usually give them any relief from the awkward banter in their head.

10. I was an English major at Wofford College in Spartanburg, SC and made some amazing friends there.

11. I don't like to talk on the phone. I usually don't answer the phone...it is always for Kevin anyway.

12. Sometimes I miss teaching and then I just think about all the hours I spent grading papers and I quickly snap out of it.

13. I do miss being a yearbook adviser. I loved teaching those classes and putting the book together year after year. Once a yearbook nerd always a yearbook nerd.

14. I can't water ski. I tried once and almost drowned (I still blame this incident on my older sister). I would like to learn one day.

15. I love to snow ski. However, it is on the "don't ever think about doing" list given to me by my orthopedist after my seventh knee surgery. Therefore, the last two times I have been 'skiing' I spent my days hanging out while everyone else hit the slopes.

16. I broke my foot walking across the street.

17. I tend to be very clumsy so when dinning out or in public settings Kevin has to juggle keeping Cavender from spilling her cup and then cut his attention to me to be sure I don't spill my drink or fall down. Sometimes he has a very difficult job.

18. I used to have a strong stance against blogging. I felt it perpetuated and fueled egocentric people. Like most things I take my random stances against....I eventually came around and I am a big fan of blogging now. I love to write on mine and I actually have a reader so I can easily keep up with the others I read.

19. I never had a grandfather. Both of my mine passed away before I was born. I have adopted Dr Kalas, the President of Asbury Theological Seminary, to be my pretend grandfather. He hasn't agreed to the arrangement but I claim him as mine anyway.

20. I love my job. I get to work with pastors and church leaders from all around the world. It is amazing. I also like it that everyone Cavender meets who is of another nationality she calls them "Mama's friends".

21. Kevin and I started dating the night of our Youth BBQ fundraiser at Snellville UMC in 1998. Ironically, I don't like BBQ.

22. I really like ethnic food. Currently, Thai is at the top of the list but the few Korean meals I have had lately is pushing it toward the top.

23. I am tired of death. This year five people have passed away in my family including my mother and grandmother.

24. I have the most amazing husband in the world. Besides the fact that he puts up with my drama he is very talented in his own right and a great father.

25. Speaking of being a great father.... this is a good thing because we are expecting our second child in October.