This blog has moved!

Roots and Reflections has moved to http://rootsandreflections.wordpress.com/

 If you follow this blog please update your settings.

Thanks for reading my little ponderings!

Finding my Footing

This past January, when all the New Year's resolution buzz was bouncing about, I ran across a blog that was suggested by my Google reader called willrunforcoffee.com. Apparently Google knows of my coffee issues because I can tell you that 'run' was not the hit word for those smart little servers that know everything about us. If you are not familiar with the blog it is the story of one woman's journey to becoming a runner. Basically, she began by committing to participate in a race a month for a year. What started as walking 5ks ended with running half marathons. I thought to myself, "I could do this. One race a month for a year. I like this. I can do this." I haven't run in a race since the Peachtree Road race in 1999. I haven't really run since then with any focus or dedication. Yet, on January 12 I downloaded a Couch25k training program and got started. At the middle of February I "ran" my first race and today I just finished my fifth. The process has been slow for me but with each step I feel myself changing as I find my footing and reclaim those parts of myself that have been dormant for some time. So race number six is my first night race, number seven a 10k, and ... race number eight will be a half marathon. Anyone else tackling a goal this year?

The Moving Box

I have been married almost 12 years and in that time we have moved 10 times. Prior to 'settling down' I moved in and out of college dorms, apartments, and rental houses for six years through college and part of graduate school (I’m thinking 6+ moves). You would think I would be an expert mover after nearly 20 moves in my lifetime. Ask those who have helped us move. Ask my husband. I am not.

I make a mean to do list and have utopic visions of the best possible moving day scenario dancing in my head. Unfortunately, somewhere between the arrival of the packing boxes and the day of the move it slowly falls apart and we are dashing about cramming, dumping, and jamming. The dream of a uniform tower of color coded boxes stacked neatly in the hall just waiting for the kindly moving men to come fetch them turns into the reality of chaos. Next time, I say, next time I will get this right.

You see in my life there will probably be a next time. As a spouse of a United Methodist minister we are a part of the itinerant appointment system. We go when and where we are told to go. So I expect there will be more moves in my future somewhere down the line.

In the beginning it was just Kevin and I moving and it was kind of exhilarating to me. In a weird way it satisfied my travel itch, because if you think about it moving every year it is like going on a long trip. The suitcases are just bigger. I felt adventurous and courageous to be living life our own way.

Yet, slowly grown-up life has seeped in with the birth of our daughters. Now these moves have implications far beyond my personal preferences. So I got my special box.

This special box can hold anything up to about 20lbs. If I start to worry about our girls liking a new room, home, school, church I just stuff it in my box. If I get sad thinking about people I will miss I just stuff it in my box. If I get worried about finances and changing employment for myself I just cram it in the box. If I get nervous about the church Kevin will be serving I just dump it in the box. If I worry about making friends or if people will like me it just goes in the box. Sometimes it gets really full, even to the point of bulging, but I keep stuffing it in.

However, when we get to our new house and the unpacking begins my special box stays firmly attached to me. As I unpack other boxes and take on the task of setting up a home I sometimes find new things to jam in my special box. Eventually all those things cling to me, become a part of me. You see for the last seven years with each move I gain about 20lbs.

That special box is really my mouth as I attempt to abate my fears, stresses, and those feelings of being completely overwhelmed by eating. I have battled my weight most of my life and after giving birth to two large, beautiful babies it has been especially hard. I gained enough weight with each pregnancy to give birth to a 12 year old instead I birthed two adorable 9-ish pound infants. The math was not in my favor.

Slowly as I get comfortable and gain my footing after a move I start to unpack my special box. It is never an easy process. I am pretty sure the glaciers are melting faster than I can lose weight but it does slowly happen. It seems as I get ‘near’ my goal weight again a move looms on the horizon. And so, my freak out begins and I find my special box once more. I guess I am lucky I am not 200lbs overweight with all our moves, the 40lbs I currently have to lose are a gracious plenty.

So here our little family is coming up on our eight month in our new ministry setting. We really love it here and our girls are thriving. Our new church family is wonderful and Kevin’s ministry is engaging. I am getting comfortable and gaining my footing. I am starting to unpack my box. Hopefully, this time for good.

The $6,000 Razor

I hate using a dull razor. Under the best conditions I hack myself to pieces so you can image the carnage of a dull razor. Yet for years I never had a new, sharp glistening blade of steel in the house. I am not a masochist. I was just economizing.

My path to the razor that have saved my family $6,000 and counting is both convoluted and direct. Basically my husband changed careers and answered his call into ministry. This change began a seven year journey of degrees, part-time jobs, and re-locations each of which left us less financially stable than the previous. So in year six, living in family housing in Wilmore, Ky, making less than a 1/3 of our previous income, and trying to stretch every dollar to feed our now family of three I first heard of Southern Savers and couponing. The very idea of using coupons brought up childhood memories of standing in the line humiliated as my mom would pull out coupons from her purse and 'hold things up' at the checkout.

I would go to the store and try to make our budgeted grocery money (thanks Dave Ramsey) go as far as possible. I would stand in the razor aisle staring wistfully but walk away from the $10-$15 price tags empty handed and go buy diapers or some other pressing need instead. Finally, my tortured legs helped me put my pride aside and I decided to give this coupon thing a go.

I didn't jump in right away. First I read a lot of blogs from people who give tips and advice as well as shopping lists. I found that Southern Savers was the best fit for me. Finally, in January 2010, inspired by the birth of another mouth to feed I took the plunge. Guess what my first big deal was? Why razors of course!

I have two years of full fledged couponing under my belt. I don't dive in dumpsters and I don't have a vast stock pile but I do have a closet that probably has 15 packs of new, sharp glistening razors and a stocked pantry. I do feed a family of four mainly organic healthy food, buy diapers and baby needs, and get household supplies for about $80 a week. I am able to give to our food bank toiletries and items I could have never donated before. I could save more but I choose to buy organic, green, and fresh products and produce when ever possible.

What could you do with captured income of $6,000? Make ends meet? Help get out of dept? Go on vacation? Home improvements? Give extravagantly?

101 Greatest Books- Jane Eyre #5

Going through the 101 Greatest Books List put together by the College Board. Their original list is in alphabetical order. I am approaching it in no particular order of my own....

While I am on a Bronte kick I thought I should go ahead and tackle Jane Eyre. Jane, Jane, Jane you and I have a complicated relationship. On again off again for years. I feel like I have a high school relationship with this text. Moving from love to hate in a blink of an eye only to make up one raining weekend when there is nothing else to do and starting the cycle over again.

You see the problem is I have read Jean Rhys's Wide Sargasso Sea. I know Jane is supposed to be the first great feminist hero way ahead of her time and redefining the claustrophobic boundaries of her female contemporaries. But you see, I can not unread Wide Sargasso Sea and Rhy's Bertha is a intertextual sledge hammer to the original text. So stretched somewhere between 1847, 1966, and now I look for the space to fit the pieces of Jane Eyre back together for me. I may have to wait for a rainy weekend.

I am interested to know if you have ever read one book that has forever changed the way you will read another?

101 Greatest Books- Wuthering Heights #4

Going through the 101 Greatest Books List put together by the College Board. Their original list is in alphabetical order. I am approaching it in no particular order of my own....

The first time I read Wuthering Heights I was a senior in high school in AP Lit class. There were about 20 of us crammed in Coach Weeks trailer in the back of the over-crowded school. Having a coach as an AP English teacher would be surprising to some but Coach Weeks was my Varsity Soccer coach. In the four years I played for him I never once doubted his intellect and talent for the game of soccer. I knew he was an English teacher but I never imagined I would have him as my AP English teacher senior year. He made us run sprints until we hurled and do push ups in the mud so when I sat in his cramped trailer and cried as he read WH aloud to us with tears in his eyes I had one of those life changing moments. The moment when you realize what you think you know of the world is very different than how the world is and you stretch beyond yourself to make a new meaning. It was so with me as tears streamed down my face listening to the passion and anguish of Heathcliff and Catherine's love read by a Coach I admired so much. In that moment I learned how connected we are by literature and the vast power of the written word. I knew then I wanted to be a part of that.

So years later I have sat in front of hundreds of students getting choked up reading To Kill a Mockingbird or Of Mice and Men or pretty much anything by Shakespeare (except Julius Ceasar) hoping that one of them would open their heart to the words and find the power for themselves.

101 Greatest Books- To Kill a Mockingbird #3

Going through the 101 Greatest Books List put together by the College Board. Their original list is in alphabetical order. I am approaching it in no particular order of my own....

It is difficult to write about something I love so much. I face the fear that I will leave out something important, something significant, something revealing. So instead of trying to concisely collect my thoughts on one of my favorite books of all time I am going to have to approach this stream of consciousness style.

I first read TKAM as a young girl. I did not understand much of the plot,especially all that was happening at the trial, but even then the characters danced off the page at me. The tomboy in me really wanted to be friends with Scout and I think I had a crush on Jem.

I have a first edition copy of the book. It has typos and grammatical errors. This gives me hope.

Quotes from the novel run through my head and I will always laugh at Scout asking Atticus to "pass the damn ham".

I love the conspiracy theories and the mysterious surrounding Harper Lee.

Every time I read TKAM it breaks my heart.

I can't decide how I feel about Atticus Finch as a father. As a lawyer and as a man he is without reproach, but with each read I am more and more conflicted how a feel about his role as a father.

I don't like red geraniums because they always make me think of the Ewells.

I came home the other day from the store and Kevin had CB in his lap reading Chapter 10 aloud to her. I will cherish that memory forever.